I haven’t felt like writing about Tantra for quite some time. I’m still not really feeling like writing about it. I’m sure there are things to add to this body of posts that are published here. I’m sure I’ve got lots to say on the topic yet. But nothing is coming out of me.
Fact, is I’m just feeling rather discouraged about having someone to practice with. And my solitary experiences are emotion filled and feeling really private.
I could write about the lifestyle aspects of tantra…what it means to live from within the perspective of the Tantric ethic…but I have never been the sort of teacher who just spouts about something to do with philosophy or whatever. It always has to have some relevance for me to feel it appropriate; a question or a personal experience of my own to relate it to. If that doesn’t come along, then I’m silent.
The topic is really important to me though. I do need to express myself sometimes despite the reticence to let you in on my emotions about the whole thing.
I decided to go through an old blog and just find some references that still hold meaning for me. I suppose that its an expression of wishful thinking…a sharing about what the heart of Tantra feels like to me.
Whispers in my heart…
Of pain…
Of wholeness…
Of joy…Rhythms of orgasm ripple in my body as the breath first drags, then sings the kundalini through me. I sigh and remember. I cry and heal. I fold into myself and evolve. I expand and grow.
This weekend, the kundalini rose spontaneously in me and descended again, stirring things in me that have long needed healing, waking up intense heat in me…
I realized yet again as He held me that our partnership is such a blessing that I am left feeling speechless, worthy and joyful.
I wrote that on January 10, 2007. I was writing about Tantra and its effect on me.
One of the happy results of my long practice of sacred sexuality is this irrepressible joy in being alive. I can have a heart wrenching experience or be really bummed about something that’s happened in my life and yet this joy bubbles through it all, like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds. I just can’t stay unhappy. The more I practice, the happier I get.
And that was yet another quote from Honestly Speaking from December 21, 2006
And one final quote from January 4 2007:
My mind barely hangs on to the visualization and breath technique in the rush of sensations in my womb and the front of my body as he clasps me to him. I breathe in, drawing energy from the land below me and from his cock up to my heart center and then exhale into his heart pushing the energy down and out his cock again. Over and over, I make this mental circuit as we rock gently together, kissing, caressing each other…
An orgasm rushes through me and that energy flows naturally right in with what I am exhaling into his body…and an orgasm rushes through his body in response. His own visualization cycle fills me with that orgasm and our experience of orgasm intensifies until we are both trembling and groaning together…
As the orgasms and breath work continue, we sink deeper into each other, into our trance, into each other’s Divinity…
Hours later, countless orgasms later, we relax into sleep, so nourished by the love we shared we feel wordlessly joyful.
I cannot wait to share this bliss with Him this weekend….
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August 5, 2008 at 9:08 am
Shannee, I remember the joy and strength of Tantric sex, I have never considered it’s use in Singleton sex.
If it is a method of raising and strengthening Kundalini, this works for you?
Dear girl I pray that you experience this joyful and healing energy soon.
Blessèd be.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Good morning Paul. *smiles* Does it work to draw the sexual energy up through the body? Yes. Does it stimulate my kundalini at all? It stirs it a little bit on rare occasions. Mostly it gives me an opportunity to release emotional debris and to contemplate my divinity.
((hugs)) Those are good prayers Paul. I pray so too. Have a lovely day!
August 5, 2008 at 9:31 am
I wish I could just give you everything you need to heal your heart and be happy. I guess the internet and life don’t work that way though.
Comfy, there is whole and there is thriving…there is happy and there is joyful. Tantra causes me to thrive and be joyful. It causes me to have vibrant health. There is a difference. Not having it doesn’t diminish that I’m whole and happy…and that I have enough health to enjoy my life and be deeply grateful that I can do most things I want to do so long as I accept there are consequences when I reach and push my limits.
This is an expression of my yearning for thriving…for unclouded joy…for vibrant health. Not an expression of feeling diminished and unhappy. *smiles*
August 5, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Greenwoman,
I have found that when I sit in the stillness all that I need is given to me. In the Great Silence, I am. All that I ever need to know or will ever need to be is there with me. Many times, I have found it hard to figure out what to do or say. After much thought, I came to the conclusion that I was trying to force an action to my detriment. To me, things happen for a reason and follows a course of action which most suits our needs not necessarily our desires. It is in this realization that I surrender to what is and what will be, whatever that may be.
I have sat down at this computer a great number of times burnt out completely before I even started the task at hand only to find I had what I needed when the time came to have it.
Your teaching style does not need to be the embodiment of philosophical contemplation in regard to tantra or anything else for that matter. I like the way you share the concepts. They come alive with more than mere words or thoughts. Your posts on tantra seem to be very much a part of you. Thank you for sharing all that you do with humor, honesty, and a personality.
Marcus
Hello Marcus, *smiles*
Someone wise was just talking to me in the past day or two about the concepts of Masterly inaction…funny when the message comes from unrelated directions. LOL! Thanks for your wisdom sharing Marcus…and for the reflection on my teaching style. I really appreciate it. ((hugs))
August 5, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Even when you are writing about not wanting to write about your emotion, you do it with such graceful articulation.
I am glad you shared bits from older posts. They were moving.
I think something has changed for me since you’ve been back. I feel like I am reading your words with eyes that are open wider, and consequently learning more about myself through what you share.
For that, I thank you, a thousand times, thank you!
Radha
*smiles* Being open…that’s always the key to letting wisdom in deeper isn’t it. Any one around us can say things many times over…but until we open up wide and let it all the way in…well its just kinda ear candy then isn’t it?
I am really glad that life has opened you up and that you are willing to stay that way…and that you are reaping the benefits of it.
Blessing Radha…and to your Krishna. ((hugs))
August 6, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I dunno…for not being able to express yourself, you kinda hit Tantra right on the head for me. All of it.
Yeah…last year I did a pretty good job of it didn’t I? *smiles* I’m glad the post spoke to you dear friend. ((hugs))
July 6, 2009 at 1:05 am
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