Dungeon Dreams

Did I mention that I feel myself changing…?

A couple items of note that seem to point toward that truth:

I was punished in front of others on Saturday. I just felt safe, made right size, relaxed, relieved that my ego was no longer tormenting me. No anger. No humiliation. Of course the environment was really safe, but that’s beside the point. *smiles*

I had a fantasy Sunday…about begging again…and about something I’ve never once wanted before. And that’s the sound and sight of a man taking his belt off to spank me with it. Its always sent me right into ptsd to hear that sound or to see a belt wrapped around a man’s hand. But Sunday, as I write this, I want it. And I wonder how it would feel laid across my Mons…

*sighs…* I want…I have no idea whether or not I’d still get all dissociative about the belt, but there’s desire there for it on a new level…and the uncertainty of what my emotions might actually be within a factual event is not altering my arousal one wit. *smiles* In fact, it seem to be heightening it instead.

That bit about heightening it is another facet of a change that I’m seeing the hint of. The sex play limit lines are rolling back a bit. Always a sign post of personal evolution for me.

Yesterday I published this Riddle:
Majestic Traveller

I am not a king, I am not a queen
But most of you will bow when I’m seen
Currently I am resting on my side
But soon I will continue my stride
I can’t walk, run, fly or crawl
Yet I am the greatest traveller of all

Here is the Answer:

A coin on the floor.
(bow when I am seen=to pick me up, resting on my side=on the floor, continue my stride and greatest traveller of all=moving between people as I am exchanged).

I just realized that some time while I’m gone for my ceremony, this blog will have 50K hits. That’s fun. *smiles*

And I’m still mulling over some of the points made by Elizavetta in her post on submission, which you may remember I’ve referred to before. I didn’t really say much about the post, just that I was thinking about the content of it, so no links to any of my past stuff here, but one of the things I am mulling over is the comment made by an erotic writer that I’ve come to favor greatly, 3barque. Here’s a link to 3barque’s blog, Skin Boat and to the comment left on Elizavetta’s post called Hide and Seek. This comment 3barque made is full of grit and in particular, the remark made about “submission is a very, very powerful act.” That’s got zing for me. And zing makes me pause and wonder…

I’ve been thinking about how submission is powerful and specifically how it is powerful for me. How does it empower me? Where are the power leaks? What’s the dance between the two? What sorts of qualities in me, in my Dom, in the dynamic between myself and my partner shift the balance between empowerment and power leaks? I’m thinking on all this deeply.

In response to my request to expand on the ‘Skimming the Cane’ technique, Paul sent me this…and thank you Paul, for allowing me to publish this, by the way *smiles*:

Skimming the cane, I’ve never seen this done anywhere else, it could be dangerous.

Have the spanker kneeling with thighs and bottom at 90º from the horizontal, support with firm pillows, the trick is to hold the cane parallel to the bottom and skim it very fast across the bottom, this creates a burning sensation, Mel could barely hold still for 12, the skin becomes very red and very hot, any more than twelve and blisters may appear, done properly it neither welts or bruises. This is a technique that needs a good eye and a steady arm, I would not attempt it now. It also requires practice as it can be dangerous if done improperly.

I have a feed to Wistful Wench and was reading a post about what her fantasy dungeon might be like.

I can tell you that the word dungeon would not apply. I don’t like any of the traditional visual ideas that go with that word. Dark, cold, black, harsh feeling. None of that is what BDSM and D/s feels like to me. There are moments, yes. But for the most part, it feels sensual, warm, loving and full of laughter and joy. Those words all by themselves reflect to me a room that’s filled with sunlight, lots of pretty white walls and tones that make skin gleam when its next to it. Wood. There’s alot of wood and tapestries and staging style furniture. Ottomans, Chaise lounge, a heavy oak dining table, a wooden four poster full of lush fabric and unobtrusive but very utilitarian hardware for bondage. I love those big chairs that could seat two. I love those old fashioned upholstered rocking chairs. They are perfect for a cuddle and a rocking for when you need some comfort, yanno?

Spirituality and kink go hand in hand for me, so it would be reflected in other things in the room. An altar would be something that has to be there. Its a place for candles and for sitting devotedly and meditating on my man and my naughty self sometimes…and a place to sit together and practice tantra. I love those plush yoga mats and pillows. I also love the tantra chair. I want one. Only I’d fiddle with it and add some things like stirrup posts and hardware for bondage.

I’d want some of the usual too though; spanking benches and a cross. Oh and its got to have a massage table. And a really good bathroom, full of all sorts of things that would make sex fun and bathing luxurious. And pillows. Lots of different sorts of pillows because they make such good staging for sex. And in fact I’d like to have a stage. Yanno, one of those big covered foam stages for sex…? Those look cool. Got to play on one once. I liked it. I think that lighting is really important for sex, so I’d like very little art work or things hanging on the walls and some terrific mood style lighting dotted around the space. And I like music, so a good sound system and a big library of music is a must.

I have this vision that my space would have baskets and little cabinets and tables scattered around that are full of things like rope, paddles and other kinky toys so there’s something fun handy no matter where you are.

So what’s your ideal play space?

Top Image here. Bottom Image here.

I want to test something on you…On July 11 a post is supposed to publish on Artistically Speaking about Delilahgirl’s artwork. Now I know full well that if you click that link now, you’ll get a notice that it doesn’t exist. But I wanna know if the link works later see. So I’m doing this little experiment to see how it works. I’m curious and I figured that Ceeci would be equally curious. *grins*

It seems I have a shy friend who is not ready to share her artwork yet…*smiles*