Wow….
Is this not a perfect chair for sex?
While you are contemplating the possibilities with me, here’s some music to shine your staff with.
*sly grins and winks*
Well…maybe that’s not exciting enough for a shine…but I still think the Chicks are yummy…
Well…so is the pretty red head on the chair, but I think the Chicks have more personality.
I was thinking about a post I read recently on ‘being used.’
I am in total agreement with this girl on this topic for the most part. Its a very erotic fantasy in theory…but in practice it is rather horrifying to be used. When I think about that term, what I really mean to say is that I want to loose my inner control because he’s played the game with me really, really well and solicited my trust to the extent that I can surrender to the myth that he’s using me, when in fact, I’m a hungry willing partner in our erotic game.
Here’s a jiggle…maybe that will give you a shine.
Or at least giggle. *winks*
Here’s this week’s Submissive Journal Prompts Questions:
- Write a website review of your favorite BDSM resource. Be as concise as possible.
I’ll make remark about this one…The site with the prompts on it. The site itself is quite extensive and has alot of educational links and is beautifully designed and thoughtful. It is geared mostly toward those who have a total power exchange, rather than someone who is, say, a submissive bedmate, but not otherwise interested in submission. Some of the questions on the prompts section itself are very insightful and interesting. I enjoy answering them…some are just plain fun to think about. I think its well worth taking a half hour to explore and see what’s there.
- Do you beg? How do you feel when you do?
In general, I resist begging. If I have a really bad case of pms, it will actually cause me to ball my fists up to have a man demand I beg. I’ve been known to shove a man down on the bed or against a wall. It seems like a figure of speech, but I’m really not kidding about that. The depths of this lust that can make me so crazed is not something that takes teasing well. I get seriously irritated if I’m not getting what I need to assuage it. I cannot help viewing feeling like this as nothing short of emotional and mental torture. That aggressiveness is not because I don’t respect him, but because I am so hungry, I just can’t think straight. My emotions are nearly beyond my control if we’re naked, he’s got me prepared for sex and then there’s a demand for begging. That feels like a message of “you’ll only get what you need if you beg right…” By then, I am beyond reason and all I can act on or think is, “Just give it to me or I’ll knock you down and take it”. It sounds funny…but I can tell you right now, that it does not feel good inside. It scares me. What I really want is to be just taken care of. To be helped to regain my own control. There’s only one way to do that; to make an orgasm that keeps me sated happen…but more than that, I need to feel loved. This drive for sex is actually an overwhelming need for love and for energetic connection that is not being met. It is a craving for submission time that’s not being met. It comes out as libido or combines with it. I don’t know quite which comes first. I just know that one without the other is do-able for me. Combined, I am crazed. I can’t even think. Literally.
The very nicest I can be is silent and to walk away if I’m pushed with teasing on this one….and I can assure you that as soon as I get alone with myself, I’ll be curled into a ball crying my eyes out because I was left alone with that evil gnawing hunger.
Otherwise…? I still don’t beg with any sort of sincerity unless it springs out of me spontaneously. And if I love and trust enough, it will. It will… Its usually the word ‘Please’ that comes out of me. Its a wonder any words ever come out of me in a sex trance, so getting that word out is a true compliment of emotion from me. “Please more” is what I actually mean by it; more love, more thrust, more hardness, more touch, more kissing, more orgasms, more dominance…and beneath that is another message…at least it was there when last the begging came through me. And that’s how it feels. It feels like the begging goes through me, that its not a part of my thinking, that its a part of my soul. The deeper message in the ‘Please’ that comes out of me is “Please love me enough; please don’t leave; please be what I need” Begging feels like scratching at the door to be let in further to a man’s heart and life. I don’t want to do that with just anyone. Giving that much of my soft self to a man is an act of such trust for me. I feel it come out of me when I want everything from him emotionally. That has only happened when I loved enough to want to share my whole life with a man.
As you may imagine…these two instances of begging are just like a volcano for me when they get combined.
Oh…and um, just as an aside to this general begging conversation. If I’m in a mood where balling my fists up could occur, its a wise man who reads the beware of woman sign…cause I bite when in that mood. Haven’t broken skin or caused a bruise so far…but there’s always a first time. *winks*
- “I am your servant. I shall not be free. You will protect me; you will keep me safe; you will guard me. You will keep me sound; you will protect me from every demon.” Ancient Egyptian woman’s slave contract
I didn’t have any strong emotion about any of this except for the sentence “I shall not be free.” That part is what caught my heart. I shall not be free meaning, “I am owned and so not free to do as I please”. That’s how most would take it…but I see an additional side. I see that “I come with a price”. I am not just a fruit to pluck from the proverbial money tree. I’m gonna cost you. I have needs and those needs aren’t to be ignored. That’s not disrespect to the authority of a dominant. That’s just facts. I’m a human being. Human beings have needs and they have to be cared for or there will be trouble. Trouble as in sick or moody or seriously unhappy. Its just the nature of being a human being. For some reason there’s this ludicrous myth that submissives are to cease being in need in favor of service. *rolls eyes* There is a difference between delaying gratification and needlessness. There will never be healthy D/s unless the submissive is seen as an equal who’s made a conscious choice and equally important to that equation, the Dominant in the situation must be intelligent and sensitive enough to his charge to make sure her needs are being met, either by himself, others or herself. That means its gonna cost him time, effort, attention and emotion…and probably money too…if only to buy the latest lusted-after torture toy. If these things aren’t present within the dynamic of a D/s relationship, then you’ll have trouble. Its that simple. So no submission comes for free.
- Is it important to you to have friends who are also in similar style relationships? Why or why not?
It is. I make such friendships very slowly though. I make any sort of friendship very slowly for that matter. Its important because I can share the fun I’m having and I can share spanko jokes and have people laugh, not stare blankly or with discomfort.
- Are you allowed to masturbate? Do you have any rules governing self pleasure?
I don’t have rules like that in my life right now. Most men in my life, have encouraged me to masturbate to take the edge off this insane libido…mostly so I won’t harass them past endurance for sex. The only rules in my life right now about things D/s or bdsm is one with my husband…and its informal, “Get too saucy with me and I’ll tan your ass…” *smiles* The other one, I’m newly informed is to wear only skirts and do so without underwear on my dates with him until otherwise informed…That one is easy in warm weather. I prefer skirts in summer. Gets air circulating around my parts in the summer heat and I am a firm believer that panties are for pants, periods and cold weather. Two of those are negotiable depending on my mood and what else I’m wearing though. *winks*
May 20, 2008 at 10:33 am
Shannee,
the redhead is not really to my taste, she is pretty but is lacklustre.
The Chicks are talented, have personality, are young and beautiful, and a pleasure to listen to.
Sensible article from this girl, makes a lot of sense.
That which is taken and given with love is not being used.
The strength of your libido comes as no surprise,
when Mel’s libido was roaring bright, in that state I would no more tease her than put my head in the jaws of an hungry Tiger.
Mel wouldn’t beg, but after a hard scene, she didn’t want gentle loving she wanted rough sex, sometimes very rough sex, the language she would use often made me wonder where she heard it, then I remembered she was a soldiers daughter.
Fortunately I always knew what she needed, the most important study in a Doms life is his sub, it’s a sorry Dom who doesn’t know his sub.
The BJ made me laugh, I certainly wouldn’t want a BJ with my girls head in a brown bag, I need to see her face, her eyes and I like to feel her hair and sometimes hold her head.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
*grins* I had to laugh when you talked about seeing teasing a woman in the state that I and Mel could get in akin to putting your head in the mouth of a hungry tiger. LOL! That’s just priceless. *winks*
I don’t think its possible to grow up around soldiers and not hear some things to make your ears burn too…You are right. I’m a second generation military brat. I remember once the first time I had a spontaneous bout of cussing about something in front of my mother when I was about 25. She just sat there and smiled at me with this wise regal look on her face and waited for me to wind down and look all sheepish and worried about swearing like a sailor in front of her. She just said in this prim mommy kind of voice…”Fuck…good word. Rolls of the tongue so nicely when you’re truly pissed off doesn’t it. It feels just like a broken dish to the mouth. Very satisfying.” I thought I’d fall off the dining room chair laughing. I thought that was just the best description for how that word feels to say. My mother was an articulate woman. *winks*
You are right…the best Doms study their submissive like a primer for all good things in life and learn to play with her like playing a fine instrument. There’s an art to handling a woman I think. I love to watch that. Better than that, I love to be the instrument.
I thought the sound of that bag alone was enough to make a man go soft. Didn’t seem to matter to him though. LOL!
Hope you are having a terrific day Paul. Blessings and big hugs!
May 20, 2008 at 11:58 am
I love the chair, But I’d love it even more if it came with the girl. I know exactly what you mean when you say you get a bit violent when your hormones are raging. I’m like that too. It takes great restraint not to actually rape someone. I’ve hurt darling on accident in my haste and desperation, but so far I’ve not done it on purpose. I’ve come awful close though on days when I’ve been reduced to begging and still am left unsatisfied. So far the biggest method of control I have is reminding myself that he’s not gonna be in the mood if I punch him. It sounds funny, but I actually have to remind myself that acting out gets me further from my goal. Where did you find that chair, though? I really really want one now.
I didn’t find that chair…I just found a picture of it. Click the pic and you’ll find the website I got the picture from. You might be able to track it down if you translate the page.
I married a carpenter. If I want that chair. I Just need to point. If I can get him to think past the red head, and I get him the materials list he’ll make out for it, I can have the chair. *smiles*
I have to chuckle at the growing number of women who describe being like this when having pms. My menses still haven’t come. I took advantage of a little better calm on Sunday to write a week’s worth of posts that weren’t so hormone raging…but I’m in no different a mood today than I was last week.
May 20, 2008 at 12:51 pm
It’s not even pms though, it’s just intense horny if it’s been more than 3 days since i got some.
*grins* I guess you’ve got it bad then…I was like that too in my life. Its tough to take. I feel grateful it shifted itself to hormone fluctuations. But I get more libido if I get sex several times a week. Once a week has been the steady diet for the better part of a year now for the most part. Occasionally, there’s a lovely shift in that for a few weeks at a time. I wish it were different…but I guess I’ve become gradually trained to stop wanting what I can’t have anyway. I did most of the training I might add. I didn’t want to feel the way this feels every damned day. I just tried to dial myself down each month. Seems its worked a bit.
Maybe that will change again when I have a regular lover in my life again….and I am sure it will be interesting to see how regular tantra again effects my libido. It used to make me feel that three times a day was a good start. LOL!
((Hugs)) I know how you feel. Hang in there…
May 20, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Love the chair. But the redhead is not to my tastes either. Eye candy for sure….now if she had dark hair and green eyes….yummy.
Then more I get the more I want, the more I don’t get the more I want….hopeless oversexed hedonist?
Back to the 10 hour days…eeeks…
Finally…someone else likes the chair as much as I do. *grins*
Didja know? I have light brown hair and green eyes. LOL! *winks*
Mmmm…I think its just simple to whittle it down to “I want”. Speaking of which…I’m juicy right now something fierce.
You’re getting enough rest for ten hour days…aren’t you? Sweet dreams..*smiles*
June 25, 2009 at 12:38 am
[...] Last year, (was it really only last year?) I wrote on the topic of begging here, here and here. And this year, I looked back on some moments of begging [...]