Voodoo Dick and some other Dicky type things…

A woman who was feeling very unsatisfied sexually by her husband went to one of those specialty shops to see if she could buy something to help. After explaining to the salesperson her problem he explained to her ” I have got something for you. This is some old school new gadgetry is called a VOO DOO DICK all you have to do is say VOO DOO DICK and name any orifice and it will magically fly over and start to fuck it hard and heavy.” The woman said, “No way! I cant believe this!!” So the salesman said, “Let me show ya! ‘VOO DOO DICK the key hole in this door’ ” Then all of sudden it burst out of its packaging and started to screw the key hole, splintering the wood in to shards the woman exclaimed, “Bag it up. I really can use one of those. Thank you very much!” After she got home, she ran upstairs, ripped off her clothes and whispered, “Voo doo dick my pussy.” Woosh! Through the air the voo doo dick flew, right into her pussy over and over. At first she loved it and had several orgasms, but after several hours, she thought she would take a break. She realized then that she forgot to ask how to shut it off !!! in a panic she raced down stairs and into her car frantically driving to the hospital. Then a police officer pulled her over due to her erratic driving. He asked, “Ma’am, why are you driving all over the road? Are you drunk??” She said, “No officer. No no, it is just that I have a voo doo dick even now still fucking me. I am so sore and cant turn it off.” He said, “A voo doo what??!” She answered, “A VOO DOO DICK!!” The cop answered, “Voo Doo Dick?” in a ‘now I’ve heard everything’ tone of voice and muttered, “Voo Doo Dick my ASS ………….!”

That one is from Brad, a new reader….do you ’spose she was relieved?

Here’s one Uniquely Twisted sent me a few weeks ago:

A man, getting on in years, finds that he is unable to perform in the bedroom. He goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last resort, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, “I can cure this.” With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then the African medicine man says, “This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say ‘123,’ and it shall rise for as long as you wish!” The man then asks, “What happens when it’s over, and I don’t want to continue?” The medicine man replies, “When your partner can take no more and is completely exhausted, all she has to say is ‘1234′, and it will then go down. But be warned, it will not rise again for another whole year.” The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed, cuddles up to his wife, and says “123″ and he feels a sudden movement in his trouser department, just as the medicine man promised. His wife turns over and asks, “What did you say ‘123′ for?”

If you’d like to share jokes or you have links that suit the Jiggles and Jingles posts, these can be sent to sweetelano at gmail. If you have questions about spiritual topics or Tantra, feel welcomed to use that address as well. Thanks for grooving and laughing with me.