Q and A…submissive style

This came from a meditation rss feed I’ve got on my Google Reader.

Submission to God’s will is the softest pillow on which to rest.–Unknown

I have some mixed feelings about this one. In my life, submission is generally to a power greater than myself. I don’t have any other name for it but Great Mystery. Obviously it has no gender, so I don’t apply one. I’ve no need to. It is a formless energy that lives in me and all life….all that is manifest….all that is not.

I have garnered a perception over time of that ‘will’ which I believe is service to love, service to my ethics, service to the greater good, not only my own.

If I live by that, there are many times when I know pain because I am faced with a choice between what I yearn for and what is right. Right is not always a soft pillow to lie upon.

Sometimes it is the fires of life…and I must walk through them, though they burn me up.

But then I have also known grace. That is to say that I have known times when it seems that my feet don’t touch the ground and I am enfolded in a bubble of safety though there is danger and misfortune all around me. There are times when I’ve chosen against my ethic and known deep sorrow as a result and still I am filled with comfort, though I’ve brought the pain upon myself. Despite my own foolishness, I am given all I need and I know that my ineffectual efforts would not have brought that grace to me based upon my own actions to even help myself, never mind the mistakes that brought me to that moment. In such times, I know that surrender is a soft pillow. There is just no doubt in my mind.

Now applying it to submission to a man in my life…?

Yes. Yes it is still both. Always it is both not true and always true. As in all of life, there are two sides to see.

Here’s this week’s questions from Submissive Journal Prompts:

Ideally, what are you seeking in a relationship? Has that changed much as you explore your nature, and if so, how?

This is a submissive journal prompt, but I am not simply a submissive and I don’t think only in terms of my relationships in which I submit in some way. And this blog is my journal, so I choose to apply this question to my life, not just my submission.

I always seek love in my relationships, no matter how ephemeral or deep they are. Even with the person who gets on my table for an hour of Reiki or massage, I seek the experience of sharing and experiencing a loving heart.

I think that I have always sought this, but I didn’t know how to achieve it and I wasn’t always conscious of this need/desire/wish/intention. Now I am.

I feel myself yearning for continued deepening between my husband and I. I feel myself yearning for a tantric partnership and yearning for the manifestation of self love that publishing my writing is bringing and will bring more of as I complete goals.
What are your current wants and needs in your relationship? Have any changed much since you first started exploring?

I think I answered this for the most part just now, and in recent posts….but the short version is I feel a need for a spiritual sexual partner.

I sometimes waffle about one sort of activity experience or another within my sexual relationships; submissive, top, tantric partner, sexual muse; but for the most part, I am on the same journey now as I’ve ever been…the journey toward love.

Swan put me on to Solas with a post she wrote a few weeks ago about her new cane….this is her spanking music….Isn’t it lovely? The vid is a little weird on this, but the sound was good, so I went with it. Hope you like it!

As I was saying about the Prompts….
Why do you define yourself as submissive? Try to steer away from ‘I like to serve’ and see what other things you have to offer.

I am not going to stuff myself in a box and define myself only in those “I’m a submissive’ terms….because I am a formidable warrior when I’ve a mind to be. I am a seeker, so I hunt incredibly well. If it interests me to know, I always ferret the truth of something. I am also a teacher, a guide and a healer. None of those things are necessarily submissive in nature, as they require a high degree of assertiveness. They are often all about taking over the directing of a situation or relationship….and even when that’s not required, but instead it calls for a canny use of submissive seeming behavior…there are plenty of people who can tell you that I top from the bottom with the best of them when the situation calls for it.

Nevertheless…. in each of these situations, my goal is always to serve the purpose of wholeness and loving.
“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” -Rabindranath Tagore

*smiles* Is it not ever so that life is about service? I think that’s how the world is getting itself in trouble these days…because this very simple truth has been forgotten. Cultures, communities, neighborhoods, organizations, families, individuals that live this very simple truth are very happy. Ever notice that?

How do you see your submission maturing and changing in a year, 5 years, 10 years?

I see that my devotion (the word I prefer and which best describes how I submit) to the love in my life and to my vocation and soul purpose deepening ever more and that I finally attain the goal I have of being venerable and of embodying Love.

And the quoted material to follow, comes from Sexuality In Art. I don’t know if you’ve truly noticed or not…but the world is at war. *smiles* I know…only a few countries have actually declared war against each other and only a few places are open battle fields…but in truth, the world is at war. Arms are not the only ways in which humans battle each other and they are not the only ways to cause turmoil, destruction and even death. I think that its pretty hard for me or for you to halt the world in its tracks once so many become embattled with each other. There are moments and people who are destined to give the world pause for thought; even in the midst of the turmoil such as times like these. I think that Gandhi is one such person, don’t you think? In any case, I don’t suppose that I’m one such as Gandhi, so all I can do is my little part and my little part is being willing to ask myself questions like these or these below.

Who do you treat as a second class person?

Why do you treat them that way?

Is it because of their race?

Is it because of their religion?

Is it because you’ve filled your quota of first class people and you can’t accommodate one more?

Is it because of their gender?

Is it because of their sexual orientation?

Is it because of their marital status?

Is it because of their appearance?

Is it because your social circle wouldn’t approve of you treating them as a first class person?

Is it because they don’t fit into your plans and predictions?

Is it because they don’t fit into the life story you were writing?

Is it because they don’t agree to agree with you enough?

Is it because they make valid criticisms of you?

Is it because they sometimes discuss what you don’t want to discuss?

Is it because they don’t fit your physical body-type qualifications?

Is it because they don’t make enough money?

Is it because they don’t come from a good enough family?

Is it because they don’t have a good enough job?

I encourage you to re-evaluate whatever it is that causes you to consciously or unconsciously treat someone as anything less than first class.

If someone’s treatment of you and yours has been first class, then consider that maybe they should be treated as first class based on the quality of their character, and the quality of their kind and good behavior toward you and yours.

When you are encouraged to treat others as second class for unwarranted reasons, then consider rebelling. Even then . . .

Love always

Consider responding to first class behavior with first class treatment.

I hope you’ll consider responding to one or more of any of these questions here or in your own blog, at drop a general remark at Sexuality In Art ….and be welcomed to be long winded here too. *smiles*

I leave you with this jiggle.