Did you know that taste is simply an extension of our sense of smell? Just a random factoid to think about…perhaps I’ll come back to it…perhaps not…but I threw it out there for you to consider what you can do with that information that would make seduction more enticing for you and your lover…
When I think of becoming decadent in my seduction of the tongue…I think of things like painting my nipples in dark chocolate…of dusting my slightly damp body with honey dust, of coating my lips with a minty lip balm. I think of painting my toenails and fingernails in raspberry juice mixed with honey, I think of things to make me taste sweet and which give Him a reason to want to put His tongue on my skin for a long time…can you imagine how long it will take to lick all that chocolate off my nipples…? *smiles* Yum!
I frequently consider also the experience of erotic whispers…I think of the impact of my words on His libido…He walks in the door. I give Him a juicy lingering kiss, rolling my tongue around His…we part. I smile into His eyes and then lean in to whisper…”I’m going to suck every part of you tonight…especially where you are long and hard…”
I sometimes lean in to my Husband in a serious setting and tell Him that I’m not wearing panties…especially when I can see He’s thinking that He’s just not going to be able to deal with the situation without loosing His cool. It takes all the wind our of His grouchy sails I must say…*grins* Fills out something else pretty nicely instead.
There are less obvious sorts of tongue wisdom…these above seem a bit obvious…we all know that food play and sex can be lovely…that sensual conversation and sweet nothings can be very arousing…
But do you think about the arousal of your partner when you are dealing with the dull daily things…? Do you think about calling your partner to whisper a sweet nothing when you’d otherwise be cussing at traffic snarls that have you at a stand still? What if you lean in to your partner and tell her how beautiful she is when she’s ready to dissolve into tears of frustration about not being able to get that fussy kid into its snow suit so she can get out the door on time…? What if you thank your partner with a few nice words, a wide smile and an especially arousing caress for taking care of some little chore…even if its only that He cleaned up the toys for you this time…
Tongue Wisdom is about communicating in ways that sustain libido…and bolster the relationship through frustrating times. Tongue wisdom is how you treat each other…We often forget that our tone of voice has allot to do with how things are taken. We often forget that a word we like and have a certain understanding of, may have a whole different connotation for another person. They might actually find that word offensively inflammatory and so not be able to accept a message as intended.
Intimacy…a Tantric lifestyle is all about communication…Its about engaging each other on all levels; body, mind, heart and soul.
And that’s not always sexy…but it is always sensual.
We always have a response to how others communicate. That response either charges our being with power and enchantment for the person in communication with us…or it leaves us cold…or worse, irritated and turned off. Intimacy…seduction is a 24/7 thing….it is based on 24/7 communication and verbal sensuality. It is not simply for the few hours just before you want to hop into bed with your partner. Libido is a living, dynamic, interactive part of the life force…it needs stimulation. That stimulation needs to come from many sources, not the least of which is exercise and creative encounters with self and others…but it does, in fact, need ongoing flirtation that brings a joyful element into the mundane moments of our daily lives.
If we do this, then we find it easier to have a little energy saved up at the end of a long day for a little cuddling or some time in sensual play to share an end of day orgasm to enhance a good night’s sleep….after all…if we are deliberately arousing our partner, our own libido is going to be intensified…and the circle cycles ad infinitum. When libido is fed, it becomes like embers given a bit of fresh air and fodder to burn anew.
It leaves a person cold to be grouched at all week and then when there’s special time, all of a sudden there’s seduction offered by the grouch…Not especially enticing…But its hard to remember that when we get sucked into the frustrations of our lives.
Remember though that Tantra is a lifestyle…a way of thinking and living. That means that life is lived toward the pursuit of joyful engagement in the things that bring happiness, enrichment, meaning, creativity…sensuality. Not just the sexual kind, but the kind that feels engaged in the 
world around us..the way we admire the scent of an ocean breeze after a storm or lilacs in the springtime. These sensual experiences make us feel alive…yes? That’s the point…feeling engaged in our lives in a meaningful way. With this attitude, we don’t think of all the stuff we aren’t doing because of that traffic snarl, we’re thinking of the perfect opportunity to try out that erotic something we’ve been rehearsing for the perfect moment with our partner…and now’s the time. We won’t think about how irritable we are about stuff at work…cause it is just stuff at work…home is where your heart is…and that means that this stuff isn’t worth bringing home.
Living Tantra means we engage where its important and not where it isn’t…because Tongue Wisdom is sexy every day…not just when we’re making love.
Here’s an adorably erotic post that’s Tongue Wisdom in action from Gillette…Fellas…don’t plan to stand up for a bit. *grins* Other, Other Things…
For those of you who are still thinking of the Power of Scent, here’s a post on Pheromones called “The Smell of You” posted at Ron’s blog FootNotes.
And here’s a thoughtful post about how we speak to each other…its more driven toward those times when one might be being less than kind or just plain unthinking, but there’s some good Tongue Wisdom in there in general. Are You Using the Language of Love? by Mark at The Naked Soul.
Here’s something lighthearted…a list of how to say “I love you” in other languages.
You might find this in depth outline of how to sort out methods of loving communication helpful…or at least a good reminder: Language of Love
If you find a little science behind the sense of taste interesting, this is the link for you…
Some of you may be new enough to this blog that you won’t realize that there are older links in the Tantra blogroll that are about oral sex if that’s of interest to you.
And I haven’t even mentioned sharing a really fine meal together as part of your Tantric ritual together. Certain foods are, of course, libido enhancing….I thought I’d share a recipe for something that I love to make for my Husband:
Mexican Plum Venison
Cook’s Note: This recipe calls for a small roast; about 2-3lbs., sliced along its length so it can be stuffed with the plum sauce. You also want this dish to be tightly covered and its very important that this dish be slow roasted between 275 and 300 degrees so that the plum sauce doesn’t burn before the meat is cooked. You can substitute Buffalo and Beef roasts if you like and its just as tasty. However, if you use Buffalo, be sure to rub the whole roast with oil before roasting as this meat has almost no fat and easily burns to the pan as a result.
12-20 plums, cut to cubes
3 medium onions diced
1-2 medium bell peppers, diced (yellow can be rather pretty)
2-4 tablespoons minced jalapeno (Leave out the seeds! That’s what’s really hot.)
1 tablespoon walnut oil (helps prevent the sauce from burning and adds nice flavor)
1-2 tablespoons minced garlic or shallots. (Personally I like both)
Heat on low in a sauce pan until you have created a compote. Salt to taste and stir constantly until cooked.
Place the roast in the pan and pour the sauce into the cut in the roast. Put the rest on top. Be sure its covered tightly so that it will roast in its own steam. If you like meat to have a caramelized or seared outside, then heat the oven to 400, sear the meat and let the temp drop back to the roasting temp before adding the sauce. I usually use about an hour and a half for a small roast to cook….sometimes longer.
My Husband loves this dish served with corn bread laced with minced shallots and Italian parsley, steamed asparagus spears or broccoli, and white bean soup that’s prepared a bit like chili…and sometimes, He asks me to serve it with an appetizer of shrimp cocktail and a dessert of coconut milk berry smoothies.
Sharing food we’ve prepared together is an act of nourishment…but mostly its just really yummy. *smiles* Just like my Men are…
One final note about kissing…You can make the subtle energy rise in the body by clenching the pc muscles. When you’ve practiced this a bit, you’ll find it feels like an orgasm building…with no place to go but swirling in you. However if you use your lips to pinch the lower lip of your partner, you will allow the energy to begin flowing into your own body…provided you both direct it there with creative visualization. For more about Creative Visualization, see the Tantra blogroll links. This sort of kiss along with breathing practice and clenching the pc muscles rhythmically is the absolute basics of tantric practice…all the rest is positions that shift energy in the body in certain ways. The study of Kama Sutra can teach a good deal about that. And there are postures that you can/should practice on your own and together to stir and actualize the kundalini and spiritual realization….and some other things…but if this is all you do, you’ll enjoy a very close and satisfying spiritual connection with each other.
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