I want to talk about orgasm more. Orgasm is the goal of nearly all forms of love making. We are generally goal oriented as a society. And certainly achieving the big “O” is the goal for those of us in the lifestyle of D/s and BDSM. But with Tantra, this is not the goal. The orgasm is simply a part of the journey. It is something that happens because you are trying to connect and you are doing it in a sensual way. Taking the goal of orgasm out of sex is not something we are used to…but I highly recommend you try it. There’s something really freeing about taking that out of the quotient. In the life style, people are either racing toward it or trying to control it. With tantra, you are simply feeling and being. No goals except love. If you cum, great. If you don’t, oh well. In fact, many Yogi teachers say that men should hold their orgasm for up to a week or two at a time as the energy may be used to keep the body very healthy and that women also can benefit from holding orgasm for a day or two at a time.
Strangely enough, Tantric practice does not leave any feelings of “blue balls” from not having an orgasm. The practice circulates so much energy throughout the body, that there is no overwhelming feeling of pressure from not having an orgasm as there would be with normal sex. Normal sex keeps all the energy in the groin. It is not circulated anywhere…and the couple build it until it overflows and the cum. With Tantra, the energy overflows from the whole body, not just the groin…and the sensation of fullness is as if you’d had the best day in the world with all the ones you love. You just feel full all over and it’s a comfortable full. A fullness of love…so no pressing need to orgasm.
Ah…one more thing. About the PC muscles. The PC muscles are the muscles in the walls of the pelvic area. They control urination and they are the ones we normally associate with orgasm. There are exercises called Keigals. Most women know of these exercises for strengthening the muscles following childbirth to prevent incontinence. But most don’t realize that there are four sets of muscles in a woman’s body. There’s the ones just outside the pelvis which is the set that orgasms when there’s a clitoral orgasm. There’s a set just inside the vagina that’s normally associated with a woman’s gspot. It is right behind the pelvic bone. These two are the ones that most women are aware of. There are two other sets. One about two inches farther in. This is the other place that is often associated with a woman’s gspot…but most women will have the one just behind the pelvic bone. the third is a very small muscle deep in the vagina at the inner most end of the pocket that is the vagina.
All of these sets of muscles can be exercised. However, it is very difficult to do so if you can’t feel anything to push against. There is a terrific toy to do that with. It’s made my njoy. Inserting this toy will place a circle of metal in just the right place for each muscle to grab.
There have long been tales of tantrikas who are capable of manipulating a man without any movement at all of the hips….just the rhythmic flexing of their PC muscles by turns so that if feels like they are being jerked off.
I am not able to do this, but I can share that developing these muscles is very pleasurable to men. It makes the flexing of each muscle distinctive, so that it feels like three or four mouths grasping his cock, depending on how many become involved in the orgasm.
It is also possible to make the muscles so powerful that an uncontrollably hard orgasm can bruise a man’s penis….just a word of warning. It happened to my husband with a woman he dated years ago. She practiced tantra regularly and was specifically training her body to learn to do that…but in the throws of orgasm, her muscles had become so strong that she hurt his cock. She, like me, make powerful muscles, not just flexible ones. Most women do not. Most women only make flexible muscles with allot of stamina. If you decide to train your muscles, you’ll know long before you get to the point that you’ll hurt your partner if you make the powerful or the flexible type of muscles.
My muscles were headed that way last year and so I decided to settle for the experience of the three or four mouths. *grins*
Ladies, if you decide to get in PC shape and achieve a PC only ejaculation on your man, I wanna hear about it! LOL! I have always wanted to hear a first hand account of this….doesn’t it sound incredibly erotic and exotic?
Kisses!
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