One of the happy results of my long practice of sacred sexuality is this irrepressible joy in being alive. I can have a heart wrenching experience or be really bummed about something that’s happened in my life and yet this joy bubbles through it all, like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds. I just can’t stay unhappy. The more I practice, the happier I get.
I was asked recently if tantra made sex better even when I’m not practicing. I’d have to say yes that it does. One thing that has happened to me is that my senses, my skin, my emotions, my energy is more responsive to touch…even to my own thoughts! It takes almost no stimulation to cause me to begin orgasming. About a year ago, I began to have continuous orgasm whether I was practicing or not if I love my partner particularly deeply and we have a strong spiritual relationship too. So for me, the answer is yes.
I can’t comment for my partners. I don’t know that they would say that my practice of tantra makes sex better with me…but I can share observations. My husband seems to enjoy watching my pleasure and remarks about how good it feels to have me spasming constantly on his penis. I have seen how joyful men are at being able to work so little to give me pleasure. I have seen how much men respond to my touch which is usually full of much passion. They seem to find it both arousing and relaxing. These seem like good results to me.
Another question I’ve been asked is whether I felt that a belief in God or willingness to have ecstatic experiences was necessary to practice tantra. My answer was that tantra can be practiced with just the energy meditations that create the boost in physical experience and (I would add now I think about it) a willingness to love deeply. Those factors will eventually bring about the ecstatic experiences without effort or belief. There will come a moment when the energy has become so intense that one more orgasm will send the practitioner into a trance state of euphoria….and perhaps then or later a dream or vision will come as a result. A moment will come in which the love will deepen so profoundly between the partners of tantra that bodies, minds, hearts, souls merge into one being for an endless moment…and a change will come over the practitioner that is beyond words. A moment will come when you look at your partner and see God/dess in their eyes and you know that you are in the presence of something so holy that you cannot help but become ecstatic….and you cannot help but be empassioned by that…want to make love to that beauty one more time.
I wrote that peice last summer and posted it on my Rootsdown blog and I’ve got much more to say about my experiences with the joy of Tantra…
I have spent much of the second half of this year not practicing tantra because my husband has had some health issues that require medications that rather dampen his emotions and spiritual responses. He simply has no interest or inner motivation to be spiritual that way…and it has gradually stopped practicing with me.
That is a sadness in itself that we’ll work to the other side of when that medication is no longer a necessity…but I have noticed that while I am incredibly happy as a person in my life, there is less daily joyfulness than there used to be. I have not changed my outlook on life. I am a very spiritual woman and meditate, participate in ceremony and breath work each day. I do many things to cultivate happiness and vitality in my life.
But I have learned that Tantra stirs the life force in a unique way that keeps it joyful beyond words…It bubbles out of you. Literally….and I deeply miss that being prevalant in my life.
What’s more, I miss seeing the effect that joy in me had on others. It is so infectious.
I can remember being in the presence of a little old man who practiced facets of tantra in his life daily as he was a Tantric Buddist who offered a ceremony called chod . All that man had to do was grin or laugh and the whole room began to lighten, suddenly solemn people were talking happily or laughing with others…and this was in a room where most people were strangers to each other. I have seen this effect many times with people who exude the type of joyfulness that I am speaking of. I have watched my own effect on other people…even watched it’s effect on the men I’ve dated and on my husband. If I even glance at someone filled with this lovely energy, they smile at me…even if I’m utterly not paying attention and keep grinning even if I don’t respond. Usually, people get hurt if you don’t smile back, but the effect of that joy makes them not even notice that I didn’t smile back at them. They feel as if I did way more than smile back because I’ve shared just a little of that joy with them by simply walking by.
I yearn to practice tantra regularly again. I want the joy again. I want it very much.
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