The topic of ceremony for sexuality has been on my mind a great deal the last week. I’ve decided to introduce some ceremonial experiences to Master this week that He’s never participated in before.
That, of course, got me thinking also about writing this piece for Thursday’s Tantra.
Ritualizing the act of blessing, loving and holiness of your tantric partner is an integral part of Tantric practice. Each couple has to decide how to do that and what will work for them. The traditional structure of Tantric ritual is woman performs extended foreplay on man, man performs extended foreplay on woman and then they spend a good deal of time having sex, slowly and with deep attention to each other. The emphasis is on slowly and steadily raising energy in the body toward orgasm…yet prolonging that cusp just before for as long as possible. This has the effect of enhancing the skin’s ability to experience pleasure….and it raises the consciousness such that spiritual experiences occur, such as trance, merging consciousness with your partner, awakening, rising kundalini, even visions.
There are other traditions with sacred sexual rituals that can be explored also….and I have done so. For many years, I have practiced the Great Rite. This is a ritual in which the man and woman share consciousness with God and Goddess during intercourse. The purpose of this is deep and esoteric…but most of all, it teaches the consciousness to merge completely with their partner….to become one body, one heart, one mind, one soul….united in pleasure and sacredness….with the Divine blessing that union profoundly.
The subject of ritual is a deep one. We could explore it for countless more paragraphs and never reach the end of topics to explore about it….but I did think to share a couple things you could try, whether you practice tantra or sacred sexuality rituals yourself. Adding something like this to your time with your partner will make each other feel special and deeply revered.
The first is an anointing. If you like, you can prepare your own oils using a carrier oil like grape seed oil you can buy at the grocery store, adding essential oils you like from the health food store, or you can simply purchase an aromatherapy oil that you like a lot and use that for anointing your partner.
Begin by setting a mood and make sure you won’t be disturbed for a long while as this is not for the sexy quickie you can steal on the fly…it’s going to evoke emotion and make you wish to tarry at each other’s side, savoring the joy, passion and love it awakens in each of you. Light some candles if you like. If you choose to use any incense, as many couples do when they make love, for it adds a nice mood…try to think how that scent will work with your aromatherapy as it will defeat some of your efforts to have two strong, conflicting scents in the room fighting for supremacy…and it could give you both a headache. Light, delicate scents that will build as more is used is a very effective mood setter.
The anointing itself calls for just a little eloquence and a whole lot of eager authenticity….and a little gentle humor is a nice touch too. Here are some examples:
“I bless the eyes that see me truly.” Dab just a very little on each eye lid. It’s good to use the tiniest smear of oil here because if your partner begins to sweat later, s/he will get the oil in their eyes.
“I bless the nipples that delight me.” This is good reason to make your own oils out of edible products…because you can make them taste well enough to add some erotic licking to these parts.
“I bless the phallus/clitoris formed for pleasure.” Here’s another opportunity for your tongue to follow the dab of oil.
I’m sure you get the picture now…but be sure not to finish with this anointing until just about every spot on your partner’s body has been acknowledged, lavished with love and make sacred by your blessings and attention….and it’s always a wonderful excuse to turn this whole thing into a massage since the oil is already present. Just be sure that you test oils first on the skin of both you and your partner to ensure there are no unpleasant reactions to the products you chose prior to blessing each other.
Here’s one other activity you can add to your love making sessions which are customary with sacred sexuality rituals:
A ritualized bath is yet another way to honor each other. Take turns creating a special bath. There are some wonderful colored and scented bath products that you can use. I find my own at health and beauty counters or at the health food store….or I just make them. Again, test products before using them. Here it’s again a matter of your behavior setting the tone. Wash each other ritually. Touch each other with reverence, slowly, methodically, erotically. Add caresses, kissing and licking to your experience. Make washing each other a beautiful form of foreplay. Again, you can set a tone by using candles and getting beautiful thick bath sheets to enfold each other in when the bath is complete, and using skin products like foot scrubs or hot oil treatments for each other’s hair can feel luxurious and special.
I am always happy to note that many men do this for their woman because they think she’ll like it and they end up feeling just as pampered and aroused by the experiences as the woman is…It feels good to surround yourself in a scent you like, to touch each other gently and lovingly, to give each other blessing…It is bonding and joyful. It also makes orgasm better to relax each other so deeply, yet arouse each other so much over a longer period of time.
I encourage you to research making your own bath and anointing products and if you find any recipes you like, feel free to come back here to share them. It will make a lovely archive to share with your fellow readers. I’ll leave a few of my own recipes here over the weekend. Happy Thursday all and I hope you get a chance to enjoy some tantric eroticism this weekend!
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